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&#127807; THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES&nbsp;- T&Acirc;M L&Yacute; H&#7884;C GI&#7842;I TH&Iacute;CH NH&#431; TH&#7870;&nbsp;N&Agrave;O V&#7872; N&Oacute;I D&#7888;I? Nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u v&#7873; t&#7847;n su&#7845;t t&#7921; b&aacute;o c&aacute;o c&#7911;a vi&#7879;c n&oacute;i d&#7889;i ch&#7881; ra r&#7857;ng trong qu&aacute; tr&igrave;nh ho&#7841;t &#273;&#7897;ng b&igrave;nh th&#432;&#7901;ng h&agrave;ng ng&agrave;y c&#7911;a h&#7885;, m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i kho&#7843;ng 25% trong c&aacute;c t&#432;&#417;ng t&aacute;c c&#7911;a h&#7885; v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c [1], [2], [3]. Hay M&#7897;t nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u n&#259;m 2002 &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&#7921;c hi&#7879;n b&#7903;i nh&agrave; t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c Robert Feldman t&#7841;i &#272;&#7841;i h&#7885;c Massachusetts cho th&#7845;y 60% m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&atilde; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i &iacute;t nh&#7845;t m&#7897;t l&#7847;n trong cu&#7897;c tr&ograve; chuy&#7879;n k&eacute;o d&agrave;i 10 ph&uacute;t, n&oacute;i trung b&igrave;nh t&#7915; hai &#273;&#7871;n ba l&#7847;n n&oacute;i d&#7889;i [4]. &#272;&#7875; ch&agrave;o m&#7915;ng ng&agrave;y C&aacute; Th&aacute;ng T&#432;&nbsp;1/4 n&#259;m nay, h&atilde;y c&ugrave;ng PsychoHub t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u m&#7897;t v&agrave;i Fact v&#7873; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i nh&eacute;!&nbsp; &#128073;&#127995;&#272;&#7883;nh ngh&#297;a N&oacute;i d&#7889;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &#273;&#7883;nh ngh&#297;a theo nhi&#7873;u c&aacute;ch. T&#7915; &#273;i&#7875;n ti&#7871;ng Anh Oxford &#273;&#7883;nh ngh&#297;a n&oacute;i d&#7889;i l&agrave; vi&#7879;c c&#7889; t&igrave;nh &#273;&#432;a ra m&#7897;t tuy&ecirc;n b&#7889; sai b&#7903;i m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i bi&#7871;t &#273;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&uacute;ng s&#7921; th&#7853;t [5]. &#272;&#7883;nh ngh&#297;a &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ch&#7845;p nh&#7853;n ph&#7893; bi&#7871;n nh&#7845;t v&#7873; vi&#7879;c n&oacute;i d&#7889;i l&agrave; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i l&agrave; m&#7897;t s&#7921; kh&#7859;ng &#273;&#7883;nh, n&#7897;i dung m&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i tin l&agrave; sai, &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &#273;&#432;a ra v&#7899;i m&#7909;c &#273;&iacute;ch &#273;&aacute;nh l&#7915;a ng&#432;&#7901;i nghe v&#7873; n&#7897;i dung &#273;&oacute; [6]; ho&#7863;c, ch&iacute;nh th&#7913;c h&#417;n, n&oacute; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c gi&#7843;i th&iacute;ch l&agrave; m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i khi anh ta kh&#7859;ng &#273;&#7883;nh &#273;i&#7873;u g&igrave; &#273;&oacute; v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c m&agrave; anh ta tin l&agrave; sai v&#7899;i &yacute; &#273;&#7883;nh khi&#7871;n ng&#432;&#7901;i kia tin &#273;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; &#273;&uacute;ng [7]. &#129317;C&aacute;c ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i - The Occasional liar (Ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i kh&ocirc;ng th&#432;&#7901;ng xuy&ecirc;n) l&agrave; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i hi&#7871;m khi n&oacute;i d&#7889;i. Nh&#7919;ng khi h&#7885; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i, h&#7885; s&#7869; th&#432;&#7901;ng c&#7843;m th&#7845;y t&#7897;i l&#7895;i&nbsp;v&#7873; nh&#7919;ng g&igrave; h&#7885; &#273;&atilde; l&agrave;m v&agrave; nhanh ch&oacute;ng t&igrave;m ki&#7871;m s&#7921; tha th&#7913; t&#7915; ng&#432;&#7901;i m&agrave; h&#7885; &#273;&atilde; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i. H&#7885; th&#432;&#7901;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&ocirc;n tr&#7885;ng v&igrave; n&#7895; l&#7921;c m&#7841;nh m&#7869; &#273;&#7875; tr&#7903; th&agrave;nh m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i trung th&#7921;c v&agrave; &#273;&#7911; khi&ecirc;m t&#7889;n &#273;&#7875; th&#7915;a nh&#7853;n sai l&#7847;m c&#7911;a h&#7885; [9]. - The Frequent liars (Ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i th&#432;&#7901;ng xuy&ecirc;n) l&agrave; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh theo m&#7885;i c&aacute;ch.&nbsp;Lo&#7841;i ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y kh&ocirc;ng quan t&acirc;m &#273;&#7871;n vi&#7879;c che &#273;&#7853;y d&#7845;u v&#7871;t c&#7911;a h&#7885;, ho&#7863;c &#273;&#7843;m b&#7843;o r&#7857;ng l&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i c&#7911;a h&#7885; c&oacute; &yacute; ngh&#297;a. M&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7873;u bi&#7871;t nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y &#273;ang n&oacute;i d&#7889;i b&#7903;i v&igrave; h&#7885; c&#7849;u th&#7843; v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i c&#7911;a h&#7885;. Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y c&oacute; r&#7845;t &iacute;t b&#7841;n b&egrave;, b&#7903;i v&igrave; m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i ph&aacute;t ng&aacute;n v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng c&acirc;u chuy&#7879;n &ldquo;x&#7841;o&rdquo; c&#7911;a h&#7885; [9]. - The Smooth liar (Ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i th&agrave;nh th&#7841;o) m&ocirc; t&#7843; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i tr&ocirc;i ch&#7843;y v&agrave; tr&#417;n tru v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng k&#7929; n&#259;ng n&oacute;i d&#7889;i. Nh&#7919;ng k&#7867; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i n&agrave;y s&#7917; d&#7909;ng t&#7889;t l&#7901;i n&oacute;i v&agrave; ng&ocirc;n ng&#7919; c&#417; th&#7875;, m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; xu h&#432;&#7899;ng tin l&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i &#7845;y ngay c&#7843; khi h&#7885; bi&#7871;t ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&oacute; mang ti&#7871;ng l&agrave; k&#7867; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i.&nbsp;Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y mang l&#7841;i c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c vui v&#7867; v&agrave; th&uacute; v&#7883;, nh&#432;ng sau khi b&#7883; ph&aacute;t hi&#7879;n, k&#7867; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i c&oacute; xu h&#432;&#7899;ng chuy&#7875;n sang ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c m&agrave; h&#7885; c&oacute; th&#7875; &aacute;p d&#7909;ng t&agrave;i n&#259;ng &#273;en t&#7889;i c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh [9]. - The Compulsive liar (Ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i b&#7855;t bu&#7897;c) l&agrave; ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7855;t bu&#7897;c n&oacute;i d&#7889;i khi h&#7885; kh&ocirc;ng c&#7847;n ph&#7843;i l&agrave;m th&#7871;, ngay c&#7843; khi vi&#7879;c n&oacute;i s&#7921; th&#7853;t c&oacute; &yacute; ngh&#297;a h&#417;n nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i m&agrave; h&#7885; n&oacute;i. Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y m&#7855;c ch&#7913;ng nghi&#7879;n n&oacute;i d&#7889;i, v&agrave; h&#7885; ch&#7881; &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n l&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; d&#7915;ng l&#7841;i. N&oacute;i d&#7889;i b&#7855;t bu&#7897;c th&#432;&#7901;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c cho l&agrave; ph&aacute;t tri&#7875;n trong th&#7901;i th&#417; &#7845;u, do &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &#273;&#7863;t trong m&#7897;t m&ocirc;i tr&#432;&#7901;ng m&agrave; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i l&agrave; c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t v&agrave; th&#432;&#7901;ng xuy&ecirc;n. Nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i trong s&#7889; h&#7885; c&#7843;m th&#7845;y d&#7877; d&agrave;ng n&eacute; tr&aacute;nh &#273;&#7889;i &#273;&#7847;u v&#7899;i s&#7921; th&#7853;t, do &#273;&oacute; h&#7885; d&iacute;nh v&agrave;o l&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i [8]&nbsp; - The Pathological liar (Ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i b&#7879;nh l&yacute;) l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i t&#7853;p trung n&oacute;i d&#7889;i &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7841;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c m&#7909;c ti&ecirc;u c&#7911;a h&#7885;. H&#7885; t&#7841;o ra nh&#7919;ng c&acirc;u chuy&#7879;n ng&ocirc;ng cu&#7891;ng c&oacute; th&#7875; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c duy tr&igrave; ho&#7863;c ch&#7881;nh s&#7917;a theo th&#7901;i gian, v&agrave; h&#7885; th&#432;&#7901;ng tin v&agrave;o nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i n&oacute;i d&#7889;i c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh ho&#7863;c kh&ocirc;ng n&#7855;m ch&#7855;c th&#7921;c t&#7871;. Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y l&agrave; nh&#7919;ng k&#7867; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i xu&#7845;t s&#7855;c b&#7903;i v&igrave; h&#7885; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i li&ecirc;n t&#7909;c v&agrave; b&#7883;a ra c&aacute;c c&acirc;u chuy&#7879;n m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch kh&ocirc;ng c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t, v&agrave; th&ocirc;ng th&#432;&#7901;ng, vi&#7879;c ph&acirc;n bi&#7879;t s&#7921; th&#7853;t v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i n&oacute;i sai tr&#7903; n&ecirc;n v&ocirc; c&ugrave;ng kh&oacute; kh&#259;n.Nh&#7919;ng k&#7867; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i b&#7879;nh l&yacute; bi&#7871;t c&aacute;ch t&#7921; tin khi n&oacute;i d&#7889;i v&agrave; s&#7917; d&#7909;ng &#273;&#7863;c &#273;i&#7875;m n&oacute;i d&#7889;i b&#7879;nh l&yacute; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh nh&#432; m&#7897;t c&#417; ch&#7871; b&#7843;o v&#7879; (v&iacute; d&#7909;: h&#7885; nh&igrave;n ch&#7857;m ch&#7857;m v&agrave;o b&#7841;n h&#417;n l&agrave; nh&igrave;n &#273;i ch&#7895; kh&aacute;c).H&#7885; r&#7845;t &iacute;t quan t&acirc;m ho&#7863;c t&ocirc;n tr&#7885;ng c&aacute;c quy&#7873;n v&agrave; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c, &#273;&#7891;ng th&#7901;i h&#7885; th&#432;&#7901;ng b&#7883; coi l&agrave; thao t&uacute;ng v&agrave; x&#7843;o quy&#7879;t [8]. &#128204;T&#7841;i sao ch&uacute;ng ta n&oacute;i d&#7889;i?&nbsp; Ph&acirc;n t&acirc;m h&#7885;c c&#7893; &#273;i&#7875;n c&#7911;a S. Freud gi&#7843;i th&iacute;ch n&oacute;i d&#7889;i d&#432;&#7899;i s&#7921; t&aacute;c &#273;&#7897;ng l&#7851;n nhau c&#7911;a c&aacute;i N&oacute;, c&aacute;i T&ocirc;i v&agrave; c&aacute;i Si&ecirc;u T&ocirc;i. C&aacute;i t&ocirc;i ho&#7841;t &#273;&#7897;ng theo nguy&ecirc;n t&#7855;c th&#7921;c t&#7841;i. &#272;&ocirc;i khi ch&uacute;ng ta bu&#7897;c ph&#7843;i tr&aacute;nh xa th&#7921;c t&#7871; b&#7903;i v&igrave; th&#7921;c t&#7871; g&#7907;i l&ecirc;n s&#7921; lo l&#7855;ng trong ch&uacute;ng ta. Ch&uacute;ng ta s&#7907; ph&#7843;i &#273;&#7889;i m&#7863;t v&#7899;i th&#7921;c t&#7871; v&agrave; do &#273;&oacute; ch&uacute;ng ta che gi&#7845;u s&#7921; th&#7853;t v&agrave; ch&uacute;ng ta n&oacute;i d&#7889;i. Khi c&aacute;i T&ocirc;i kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; &#273;&#7889;i ph&oacute; v&#7899;i m&#7897;t s&#7889; k&iacute;ch th&iacute;ch &#273;au bu&#7891;n, n&oacute; s&#7869; t&igrave;m m&#7897;t gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p thay th&#7871; b&#7857;ng c&aacute;ch bi&#7879;n minh th&ocirc;ng qua vi&#7879;c n&oacute;i d&#7889;i. C&aacute;i Si&ecirc;u T&ocirc;i, c&aacute;nh tay &#273;&#7841;o &#273;&#7913;c c&#7911;a nh&acirc;n c&aacute;ch ch&uacute;ng ta c&#361;ng c&oacute; th&#7875; c&oacute; vai tr&ograve; trong vi&#7879;c n&agrave;y. C&aacute;i Si&ecirc;u T&ocirc;i mu&#7889;n ch&uacute;ng ta tr&#7903; n&ecirc;n ho&agrave;n h&#7843;o theo b&#7845;t k&#7923; ngh&#297;a n&agrave;o. V&igrave; v&#7853;y, &#273;&#7875; c&#7913;u ch&uacute;ng ta kh&#7887;i s&#7921; b&#7845;t to&agrave;n, ch&uacute;ng ta n&oacute;i d&#7889;i &#273;&#7875; l&agrave;m cho m&igrave;nh tr&#7903; n&ecirc;n ho&agrave;n h&#7843;o trong m&#7855;t ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c v&agrave; trong m&#7855;t ch&iacute;nh ch&uacute;ng ta. C&oacute; ngh&#297;a l&agrave;, m&#7897;t lo&#7841;i c&#417; ch&#7871; ph&ograve;ng v&#7879; &#273;ang ho&#7841;t &#273;&#7897;ng &#273;&#7875; quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh n&oacute;i d&#7889;i &#273;i&#7873;u g&igrave; v&agrave; n&oacute;i d&#7889;i nh&#432; th&#7871; n&agrave;o. V&agrave; n&#7871;u c&oacute; b&#7845;t k&#7923; lo&#7841;i c&#7843;n tr&#7903; n&agrave;o &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i s&#7921; th&#7887;a m&atilde;n c&#7911;a n&oacute;, ch&uacute;ng ta s&#7869; &#273;&#432;a ra nh&#7919;ng tuy&ecirc;n b&#7889; t&#7841;o &#273;i&#7873;u ki&#7879;n cho s&#7921; th&#7887;a m&atilde;n nhu c&#7847;u c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh, b&#7845;t k&#7875; &#273;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; &#273;&uacute;ng hay sai [9]. Theo quan &#273;i&#7875;m H&agrave;nh vi, c&oacute; th&#7875; n&oacute;i r&#7857;ng c&aacute;c m&#7851;u h&agrave;nh vi n&oacute;i d&#7889;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c thu nh&#7853;n th&ocirc;ng qua vi&#7879;c h&#7885;c gi&#7889;ng nh&#432; h&#7885;c c&aacute;c ph&#7843;n &#7913;ng h&agrave;nh vi &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n v&agrave; ph&#7913;c t&#7841;p kh&aacute;c. M&#7897;t khi h&agrave;nh vi n&oacute;i d&#7889;i c&#7911;a m&#7897;t c&aacute; nh&acirc;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c c&#7911;ng c&#7889; b&#7903;i nh&#7919;ng h&#7853;u qu&#7843; thu&#7853;n l&#7907;i, th&igrave; khu&ocirc;n m&#7851;u h&agrave;nh vi s&#7869; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c l&#7863;p l&#7841;i v&agrave; tr&#7903; th&agrave;nh m&#7897;t ph&#7847;n c&#7911;a h&agrave;nh vi. H&#7885; l&#7863;p l&#7841;i nh&#432; v&#7853;y khi h&#7885; &#273;ang c&#7847;n nh&#7919;ng h&#7853;u qu&#7843; t&#432;&#417;ng t&#7921; [9]. &#9999;&#65039;T&#7893;ng h&#7907;p l&#7841;i m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n h&#417;n th&igrave; c&oacute; 3 l&yacute; do ch&iacute;nh khi&#7871;n con ng&#432;&#7901;i ta n&oacute;i d&#7889;i [10]:&#128073; Tr&aacute;nh c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c t&#7891;i t&#7879; ho&#7863;c &#273;&#7875; tr&aacute;nh m&#7897;t h&#7853;u qu&#7843; x&#7845;u&#128073; C&#7843;m th&#7845;y t&#7889;t h&#417;n v&agrave; nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ph&#7847;n th&#432;&#7903;ng&#128073; L&agrave;m cho ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c th&iacute;ch ho&#7863;c ng&#432;&#7905;ng m&#7897; h&#7885;&nbsp;T&agrave;i li&#7879;u tham kh&#7843;o:[1] DePaulo, B. M., &amp; Bell, K. L. (1996). Truth and investment: Lies are told to those who care. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71(4), 703-716.[2] DePaulo, B. M., &amp; Kashy, D. A. (1998). Everyday lies in close and casual relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(1), 63-79.[3] Kashy, D. A., &amp; DePaulo, B. M. (1996). Who lies? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(5), 1037-1051.[4] Feldman, R.S., Forrest, J.A., &amp; Happ, B.R. (2002.) Self-presentation and verbal deception: Do self-presenters lie more? Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 24, 163-170.[5] Hawker, S. (2006). Little Oxford English Dictionary (9th ed.). India: Oxford University Press[6] Williams, B (2002). Truth and Truthfulness: An Essay in Genealogy. Princeton: Princeton University Press.[7] Kupfer, J. (1982). The Moral Presumption Against Lying, Review of Metaphysics 36; 103-126&nbsp;[8] Kumar, K. &amp;&nbsp;Radhakrishnan, R. (2022). Pathological Liar vs. Compulsive Liar. MedicineNet. Retrieved 3/3/2022 from https://www.medicinenet.com/pathological_liar_vs_a_compulsive_liar/article.htm[9] Farisha. A. T. P, Sakkeel. K. P (2015). Psychology of Lying. The International Journal of Indian Psychology, 2(2), 45-51.[10] Iliades, C. (2010). The Truth About Lies and Longevity. Everyday Health. Retrieved 4/6/2010 from https://www.everydayhealth.com/longevity/truth-about-lies-and-longevity.aspx______________________________________PsychoHub - D&#7921; &aacute;n T&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c thu&#7897;c t&#7893; ch&#7913;c Youth+ CommunityFanpage: https://www.facebook.com/PsychoHub.Project/Email: youth.psychohub@gmail.com

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